Jang, the gang and us

And so the Nigerian Governors’ Forum (NGF) came back as a single group, after two years of inane politics that tore it into two factions and made our country the laughing stock in the art of understanding the basic principles of democracy. Our understanding of simple counting and ‘mental sums’ (as it was called in the primary school days), was called to question.

For about two years, a bunch of megalomaniac governors, driven by their insatiable love and lust for impunity insisted, in spite of clear evidence, that there was a new mathematical theorem which made 16 greater than 19. That theorem was celebrated and given official acknowledgment by Nigeria’s President and Commander-in-Chief, thus giving it the official imprimatur of the government of Nigeria. We complained; we shouted. But the government, the irresponsible governors and, sadly, their ninny followers and supporters, sneered at us, because they thought us too weak to matter where they operated from.

But this week, as we count down to the official commencement of the much touted ‘Change’ that all the while seemed impossible, the prodigal governors represented by Jonah Jang, Godswill Akpabio and Babangida Aliyu shamelessly went back to the mainstream fold, thus admitting that they were all along wallowing in perfidy.

Not that it mattered to us who was heading the NGF, that being nothing more than a social club of state governors, without any legal or constitutional authority or power. What worried us though was the quality and character of those calling the shots as far as our politics goes at the state level. If as few as 36 highly-placed politicians occupying very high political offices in Nigeria could not conduct themselves with a high sense of integrity to even carry out a credible and dispute-free election, we feared for the general elections. If we couldn’t count 36 votes, how were we going to be able to count millions? It was enough to deflate our already sagging image in the international scene.

While the division remained, some of these hapless and clueless followers were busy abusing and even hating one another (supposedly on behalf of their ‘leaders’). I hope they can see clearly now how they have once again been used and dumped as pawns on the political chessboard.

What happened in Abuja on Monday was that the authentic Nigerian Governors’ Forum (NGF) headed by Governor Rotimi Amaechi met and the prodigal governors, including Akpabio and Aliyu attended. Jonah Jang sent in an apology for his absence, thus also acknowledging that Amaechi had all along been in the right on this and the so-called Jang-led faction (I call it the ‘Jang-Gang’) was fake and inglorious.

At the media briefing, a journalist asked the governors about their inglorious past but Amaechi was quick to save his prodigal brothers the humiliation by saying bygones were bygones and that any question about that would be met with the answer, ‘no comments’.

Well, Governor Amaechi, while we appreciate how you politicians love to operate as family and protect each other when it suits your purpose and make a fool of the rest of society, we are not going to let you off easily on this. We must name and shame every part of us that reeks of obscenity and abuse of process, lest that part of us falls into it again and again and keeps kissing and making up. No society develops through such.

We see this happen too often. In the parliaments, we remember how, after wasting everybody’s time, accusing their presiding officers of corruption and even removing them on account of that, at the end of the parliamentary session, parliamentarians would often open their book of perfidy and reading therefrom, pronounce every ‘sinner’ cleansed of any wrongdoing. They once even declared that certain records of their ignominy be expunged. That is the power of the crooked ruling class, a power we must break or change.

To what do Nigerians owe this newfound love of the 36 state governors? And how do their willy-nilly cheerleaders feel now? While the division remained, some of these hapless and clueless followers were busy abusing and even hating one another (supposedly on behalf of their ‘leaders’). I hope they can see clearly now how they have once again been used and dumped as pawns on the political chessboard.

First published in Premium Times of May 20, 2015 http://blogs.premiumtimesng.com/?p=167626 

For want of a nail in Rivers State...

"For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail".

Oh dear Rivers State, shall the above rhyme remind us of thee come May 29?

Thy brawl in thy parliament and thy slaughter of thy judiciary have brought thee this ignominious recognition.

Now we need a chief judge to swear in a new Governor but none is found.

And in cometh Adoke the law, directing or ordering Bayelsa chief judge to proceed into a different jurisdiction an act to perform.

And I ask Adoke the law, 'quo warranto?'

Should such order not have come from the National Judicial Council (NJC) or the Chief Justice of Nigeria (CJN) rather than from a partisan law officer?

Hmm...the very thing the loss of a nail can cause, all because we cared less for the city though we claim otherwise...

If only we knew our realities

If only they had seen the oil as a dwindling resource. If only they had appreciated that the bonus from oil windfall was an aberration and couldn’t be relied upon to build a dream on. If only they had saved for the rainy day. If only they did not have a champagne taste, even with their palm-wine pockets. If only they didn’t have to steal not only for themselves but their numerous families, friends, hangers-on, bootlickers, religio-cultural communities and their future generations.

If only they did not splash state resources on frivolities and elitist tastes. If only they did not have to build air-conditioned footbridges or commit money into building Africa’s tallest building in a land where electricity is still a luxury. If only they did not build gargantuan edifices and ‘world class’ stadium where only one game (football) can be played, and that a few odd times in a year. If only they did not build state-of-the-art entertainment centres, where state resources are spent to subsidise gate fees. If only state resources were not looted to fund political party activities. If only they thought through every project proposal to be sure it is in the interest of the people rather than be driven by ‘what is in it for me’ (WIII-FM). If only they realised that it is evil to take a loan for projects that would sell off their state’s future for the pleasure of today’s elite.

If only they realised that governance is about service to the citizens and the state and not a ‘food-is-ready’ for family and friends. If only they realised that spending colossal sums to build a physical wall round a city is idiotic, just like committing huge funds from loans to build a conference centre that is unlikely to host as many conferences as to recoup the loans. If only government officials realised state resources should not be utilised for funding private religious luxuries like pilgrimages, instead of committing those to deliver quality public services like electricity, health and education.

If only governments were not top heavy with political appointees whose job descriptions overlapped and there are no monitoring of value added to the state by such officials. If only state agencies were not over-populated by workers many of whom have neither a job to do nor a seat and office space to work from, yet collect salaries and allowances. If only we had effective monitoring mechanisms for efficiency and efficacy of government workers and operations.

If only our opinion, traditional and religious leaders were not compromised and as such could speak truth to power. If only those leaders were statesmanlike and not interested in WIII-FM. If only those who had no courage to speak up did not spend time discouraging and disparaging those who spoke up against bad governance and squandering of public resources.

If only people got punished, and severely too, for looting our commonwealth rather than be celebrated by their communities as heroes and heroines who brought the bacon home to their clans. If only we entrenched the culture of naming and shaming rather than hailing and sharing with corrupt public officers.

If and only if all the ifs above had happened, we would not have been in this horrible mess of states going bankrupt and governors beginning to beg for bailout from a federal government that itself is operating below the level of capability.

If only citizens are thoroughly angry enough about the waste in government and rise up to say enough is enough and mean it, the government would sit up and not take us for granted. But that again depends on another set of ifs. If only we stop seeing who is running the government but how he or she runs it. If only we realise that we own the government and not the government that owns us. And if only we realise the power of our collective actions as citizens. Oh, if, and only if we appreciate where the power lies, we would not allow the few who run the governments to take us for granted.

First published in The Niche newspaper, May 17, 2015. http://www.thenicheng.com/if-only-we-knew-our-realities/

Do We Ever Spew Out the Rot?

And it came to pass that a certain Godwin Moffat Eyo who carries the title of ‘pastor’ got convicted this past week for stealing. That is no news because hundreds of people get convicted for stealing in Nigeria every week. It is also no biggie that he committed the crime while serving as a ‘big man’ in one of the ‘big’ government offices. Many of them do, still do and will continue to do so. The part that stood out for me in this matter was the items he stole. The convict stole electricity transformers; not one, not two, not 10, not even 20 or 30. He stole all of 56 transformers. Yes, you read that correctly, 56!

When the news broke, many people asked what he wanted to use all those transformers for when he is not NEPA. As an aside, NEPA (National Electric Power Authority) is the precursor to the Power Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN) which was later unbundled to give way to the present power generating companies (gencos) and power distribution companies (discos) that dot the entire country. Names have a way of sticking with us here, so by whatever name the power supply company goes, most Nigerians call them NEPA now, since the generation that knew of ECN (Electricity Corporation of Nigeria) is now in the minority.

So back to our man, Pastor Eyo. How on earth did he come about 56 transformers valued at N220,176,320? That’s the big question. As I hinted, Eyo is (or was) a big man. He was the commissioner representing his state (Akwa Ibom) in the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC), a specialised intervention agency of the federal government meant to address some of the peculiar challenges of that region. In saner climes, such an agency and its resources would be treated with utmost protection by everyone from that area the way communities treasure their stream as the source of potable water. You don’t mess with it without grave consequences from the people. But not so with the NDDC.

To many citizens of the Niger Delta, the commission is just another spinner of freebies coming from a distant federal government. You just pray to get into it or know someone in it to take as much from it as possible. So, it was that this representative of an entire state applied for 90 electricity transformers for the benefit of his state and was given 70. When these were released, the convict claimed that the NDDC office in the state capital did not have enough space to store that quantity of equipment and he was benevolent enough to offer his private home in Eket for the safe-keeping of the transformers. It turned out that this thief eventually released only 14 of the equipment and, well, ‘pocketed’ 56!

My questions are many, but let me pose a few here. How so easy is it that all of 70 transformers approved for an entire state by the NDDC could be physically handed over to an individual? Shouldn’t the agency have verified the specific location the transformers needed to be sited and ensure they were delivered there? Could it be that the agency works like one huge bazaar where the big men just share and cart away as much as they want and nobody cares about what it is meant for? Does NDDC have a way of following up with equipment it shares out?

How did the pastor dispose of those 56 transformers without people raising issues? Possibly, he became a huge benefactor, sharing transformers to different communities whimsically, or, as some pastors like him are wont to say, ‘as the spirit led’. Did it ever prick the consciences of the beneficiaries that there was something amiss in the manner he doled out the transformers? Maybe he became known as the transformer man. Did his church ever see anything absurd and wrong with that? He couldn’t possibly have stolen 56 of those equipment without ‘blessing’ his church and maybe other ‘men/women of God’ with a few, you know.

It is likely that many who knew of it and many more who would read this would justify the action as a norm because they have accepted that our society cannot run better than this. This is the shocking reality for us. The problem is not usually only about the criminal, but also about the society members who abet, acquiesce, endorse or celebrate the criminality. I was sore disappointed a few days ago where I read about a young man who swindled a bank of N53.6 million by hacking into its database during his internship with the bank. It was not just the criminality that I was disappointed with, but the comment of another young man who chided the thief for not being smart enough to have escaped from the country soon after the loot.

That says a lot about our society. And I am sure there are many more Pastors Eyo across the land and in different scales who are being protected by the same society. Until we sensitise ourselves enough to spew out their likes, our society will continue in this cycle of rot.

First published in The Niche newspaper, May 3, 2015 http://www.thenicheng.com/do-we-ever-spew-out-the-rot/

Wetin Government Workers Dey Do Sef?

It is a Saturday and I walk into this university bookshop where there are so many old and un-bought books on dusty shelves that you would almost mistake the place for a library.

Just inside the main door are two women seated at a desk. They are obviously over 50 years of age, chatting away. At some point while I was in the bookshop, I even heard them sing a religious song.

I turned left into the gift shop section of the bookshop and there is an attendant there. I window-shopped for a few minutes then go into one of the books sections. I pick up a few books, some of which I thought were out of print. Thank God this is a bookshop in an academic environment. In this books section, there are two men, also having small talks and I am told they are the ones to attend to me after I have picked the books I want to buy. They issued me receipts for the three books I eventually settled for. They labouriously write out the names and prices of each of the books on the receipt in a booklet and tear out the original and duplicate for me.

I go back to the gifts’ section and pick up a birthday card. Hmm… who still gives that out in these days of electronic everything? You could send free e-cards by email or post on facebook, send text messages, blackberry or whatsapp chat etc. I do same a lot. But sometimes it just feels refreshingly and old-scholarly interesting to select a nicely-worded card and sign with your hand to give to a friend. So I am going to do just that. The attendant in the gift section also issues me a hand-written receipt for this single item I just bought.

Now I present myself, okay no, I present my receipts and all the items in my shopping bag to the two ladies by the door for verification. Each of them takes one of the two receipts and dutifully checks to see that they match the items I have in my bag. With a red ink pen, they write the word, ‘checked’ on my original receipt and keep the duplicate as the control copy.

Roughly calculated, I have spent between 20 and 30 minutes in this transaction. While there, only one other person came into the bookshop. And the staff mentioned that they will close at 1:00pm today, being Saturday. Maybe they opened the shop at 9:00am, but not earlier than 8:00am, I am sure.

I am just wondering about the efficiency of opening that shop for five hours on Saturday and having it serviced by at least five staff who, most likely, are on a full-time employment with the university. Couldn’t the job have been carried out by at most three staff? What if (some aspects of) the bookshop’s operation were automated? Two days earlier when I went to the same shop to buy a few books, I found it frustrating having to spend such a long time standing in a single queue to pay for the few books I bought. And by the way, all my shopping amounted to less than N4000.

So, wetin government workers dey do sef?

Published in Premium Times, Sunday May 3, 2015 https://blogs.premiumtimesng.com/?p=167488